


I’ll look after you

by Lady_Michiru



Category: A.B.C.-Z, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: FQF Challenge Fic, M/M, Mild Baby Angst, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-14
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 17:08:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1135254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Michiru/pseuds/Lady_Michiru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: M-preg. Tottsu always considered Hasshi as a child, till the day Hasshi announced he was magically pregnant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’ll look after you

**Author's Note:**

> In the long history of things that shouldn’t have happened, I’m afraid this ranks high. I wasn’t even going to do it but then I saw [this](http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/8425/x0c.gif)... and I just couldn’t help it. Thanks to my beta, Ri, who had to go through this 9k+ monstrosity and was ever so nice about it <3.

The day Hashimoto announces it, the sun is shining bright and the wind of spring blows lazily outside. It’s a nice day, even if they have to be locked in the rehearsal room.

Totsuka is drinking water by the window, enjoying the view of the blooming cherry trees during his break, when Hashimoto arrives.

Hashimoto is late, true, but he had announced his doctor appointment days before, and Totsuka had been glad he had finally scheduled it. Hashimoto had been suffering from dizziness and nausea for at least two weeks and all of them were worried.

“The thing is…” Hashimoto begins after he tells everyone to gather on the center of the room, because he has news. “The thing is, I’m pregnant.”

Four pair of eyes train on him, expecting a punch line and laughter, but they only find a fidgeting Hashimoto, looking rather appalled.

“How?” someone exclaims, and it doesn’t matter who, because Totsuka is sure it’s the same question they all want to ask.

“I had sex,” comes Hashimoto matter-of-fact answer, like that explains everything and come on, guys, you _do_ know how people make babies, right?

Three pair of eyes blink and one stares in bewilderment. Only one of them talks.

“But girls get pregnant when you have sex!” It’s Tsukada, and maybe he is the only one who is more shocked by the fact that Hashimoto is pregnant than about him having had sex, with their Z being their protected baby. And with Hashimoto being _theirs_ , to boot. But that is another matter.

Goseki puts a hand over Tsukada’s shoulder, because judging by his face, understanding is slowly dawning on him, in spite of the weirdness of it all.

Tsukada stares at Goseki, ostensibly puzzled by his condescending look. "What?"

Hashimoto exhales hard and drags his eyes up to look at Tsukada.

"It wasn't a girl I had sex with, Tsuka-chan" he explains, in a tiny voice, like he really expects this to be shocking news for them.

For Tsukada it seems to be, as he almost faints, but Kawai looks at Hashimoto in a why-didn't-you-tell-us-before way and Goseki smiles, knowingly. Totsuka just blinks.

“Men don’t get pregnant!” Tsukada wails, and Goseki holds him, trying to calm him down.

"I don’t understand it either, Tsuka-chan. But I’m just back from the doctor’s office and… it’s happening.” Hashimoto looks a little tired, and maybe this is what takes Tsukada out of his shock at last.

Tsukada disengages from Goseki and slowly walks toward Hashimoto, puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“So,” begins Hashimoto, looking with hesitant eyes at Tsukada then at the rest of them, “please take care of me!"

“It won't be that hard to hide,” Goseki teases, trying to break the tension. “It's not as if he does many stunts anyway.”

“Oi!” Hashimoto retorts, and everybody laughs, as expected.

Everybody but Totsuka, who keeps staring at Hashimoto as if his world had just collapsed over itself.

***

“Have you thought about, you know… getting rid of it?”

Totsuka doesn’t know why Kitayama is here at all, isn’t sure how the news reached him -although he has a hunch that it had to with Kawai telling Fujigaya-, but he has the reasonable hope that this is where it will stop. They were Ebikisu once. They protect their own.

But now he is at loss of what to do as Hashimoto stops eating ice-cream and covers his stomach protectively, throwing Kitayama an outraged look.

“No! And don’t say things like that in front of the baby!”

Totsuka has to smile as he realizes that Hashimoto’s folded arms around himself are meant to protect the baby from hearing what Kitayama has to say. He also knows there is no point in telling him the baby can’t hear anything at this point.

“It could be a demon’s child for all we know.” Kitayama is relentless, and for a split second, Totsuka is worried about Hashimoto’s reaction.

“My sis said that exact same thing,” Hashimoto says simply, rubbing his belly, though hard defined muscles are the only thing there for the moment.

“You told your sister?!”

"Of course," Hashimoto nods emphatically.

This seems to bewilder Kitayama to no end, and he is left gaping for ten whole seconds as he looks at Hashimoto then at Totsuka, then at Hashimoto again. “Your mom too?” He finally gasps.

“Yes… she was really shocked at first. Then she asked me if I was doing drugs,” Hashimoto stares at his hands where he is finger counting. “Then my sis came and told her that it was probably a demon’s doing, and then they insisted that I…” he shakes his head sadly, but then he drags his big eyes up and smiles. “But at least they believed me!”

“You…” Kitayama can’t quite find words, and this somehow pleases Totsuka.

“I don’t mind if it’s a demon,” Hashimoto continues then, facing down to where he is grabbing his stomach now. “This is the weirdest thing ever, but I’m sure it happened for a reason. And I will give this baby love, demon or no demon.”

Kitayama looks pointedly at Totsuka, raising his eyebrows and seemingly unable to close his mouth. Totsuka just smiles back.

“When did he get this grown up?” Kitayama asks conspiratorially toward Totsuka, but Totsuka just shakes his head.

If he is honest, he is kind of wondering the same.

***

Of course, they are all there for Hashimoto’s first ultrasound.

Totsuka doesn’t even know what Kawai did to make all these people keep their mouths shut about this, but he said it was safe and they have no option but to trust him.

The nurse is nice enough though, smiles a lot, doesn’t stare too hard and lets them be for the moment, while they wait for the doctor to arrive.

Hashimoto is sitting on the examination table dangling his feet and playing with the frays of his jeans. Totsuka already explained the process three times to him, but he says he doesn’t trust the internet, or the five different books Totsuka already bought about pregnancy. They are for _girls_ , and he doesn’t know how much of it really applies to him.

“So they’ll tell me now if the baby is sick?” Hashimoto asks, looking at Totsuka with big worried eyes.

Totsuka smiles back, pats Hashimoto’s knee reassuringly. “Everything will be fine.”

Hashimoto nods, his brow still a little furrowed, and Totsuka amicably squeezes his knee before attempting to back away a little. But Hashimoto grabs a fist of his shirt, keeps him from going away. Hashimoto’s eyes are fixed on his own feet, so Totsuka grabs his hand, squeezes it softly. _Everything is going to be all right, I promise_.

Totsuka is still the first one to cry when the doctor lets them hear the baby’s heart.

Everything turns out to be as normal as it can be, under the circumstances, to everyone’s relief. And the doctor tells them the baby is nearly two inches tall and no, he can’t say if it’s a boy or a girl yet.

Come lunch, Hashimoto is still trying to get a hold of how long two inches is, separating his thumb and pointer finger, assessing. Totsuka watches him, bemused, and after a couple of minutes, comes near him with a small passion fruit in his hand.

“Here,” he says, as he handles it to Hashimoto. “The baby is this big right now.”

There’s something heart clenching about the care Hashimoto takes with the fruit, considering its size then covering his belly with his other hand. He is barely showing, if at all, to any outsider he’d just seem a little bloated, but they all know better. Even so, Totsuka has to fight the urge to cover Hashimoto’s hand with his own; this rattles him thoroughly.

Thankfully, Goseki beats him to it. “Girl or boy?” Goseki asks, his hand over Hashimoto’s on his mostly flat tummy. “Which would you prefer?”

“I don’t mind either way,” Hashimoto says, honestly. There’s so much warmth in his voice that Totsuka can only smile. It’s so like Hasshi, making the most out of anything life throws at him.

And the admiration he feels right then makes his heart beat faster.

***

“I am so sorry,” Hashimoto gasps. He is kneeling on the floor of the bathroom, looking rather green. “I didn’t mean to mess up rehearsal again.”

Totsuka, kneeling beside him, just pets his hair and smiles.

“It’s okay, Hasshi.”

He is just past his twelfth week, and morning sickness should have subsided by now, but Hashimoto’s case seems to be special in every aspect.

Totsuka rubs Hashimoto’s back as another violent wave of nausea hits, makes sure that Hashimoto’s hair doesn’t get in the way so it doesn’t get dirty.

“I am really, really sorry,” Hashimoto keeps on apologizing when it’s over, even though Totsuka is smiling as he hands him a glass of water to wash his mouth.

Hashimoto washes his face then, and pouts as he sees Totsuka handing him a towel.

“Tottsu is so good to me,” Hashimoto whispers, visibly fighting tears, and Totsuka doesn’t get a warning before Hashimoto completely squeezes the air out of his lungs with a tight embrace.

This is not something new, Hashimoto is always hugging him after all, but ever since he announced his pregnancy it somehow feels different.

Totsuka hugs back, as usual, but he feels like this is a whole new Hashimoto, and a bittersweet feeling invades him, something he can’t quite place. Like somehow this isn’t _his_ Hasshi anymore, and it unexpectedly hurts.

***

Hashimoto is glowing.

His skin is smoother than usual and even though it is early in the morning and his hair is a mess, Totsuka can’t stop staring at him.

“What?” Hashimoto asks, wiping his face as if he has something stuck.

“Nothing,” Totsuka says, shaking his head to clear it. “Are you ready?”

Hashimoto nods, shouldering his backpack and following Totsuka out of his apartment complex.

The rest of A.B.C-Z is waiting in Tsukada’s car, which has turned into public transport for rehearsal for all of them. Tsukada wouldn’t let Hashimoto take the train and neither of them wanted to let him drive, so Tsukada volunteered to drive him to work and back for the duration. Totsuka isn’t clear on the details as to how every other member of his unit ended up hitching daily rides to work on Tsukada’s car, but he’s not about to complain.

They are heading to the pool this morning, as they have been doing for a while now. They hadn’t wanted for Hashimoto to keep practicing stunts but Hashimoto said he wouldn’t take so many months of sitting on his hands and losing all the training he finally had going. So, pool. They all have been getting better at compromising.

Hashimoto is bigger and rounder now, looks a little bit softer. And maybe that’s why Totsuka simply can’t stop staring, even when they get to the pool and there’s wet laughing Hashimoto bouncing all around. Especially then.

“Close your mouth.” It’s Goseki, sitting beside him on the edge of the pool, splashing him with his wet hair as he shakes it in his face. “You’ll drown.”

Totsuka just stares at him for a while, then they both look in the direction of Kawai’s panicked squeaks as Hashimoto tries to push him underwater, all pretense of practice forgotten for the moment.

“He really is something else, isn't he?" Goseki's voice reaches him but Totsuka doesn't turn in his direction. “I asked him if he really knew what he was getting into, you know? Not only this... crazy pregnancy thing. Afterwards. Because children are hard work, right? Babies are cute but then they grow up and become kids, who talk back, and refuse to tidy their rooms, and lie about having homework…” the only answer Goseki gets is a quiet ‘Mmhmm’ from Totsuka, who is still looking at Hashimoto, now ganging up with Tsukada to bully Kawai.

 _He will be great with his kid_ Totsuka thinks, but he can’t voice it through the strange tightness in his throat, so he only blinks, trying not to let his smile quiver so much.

“He said he only regretted that it was going to be troublesome for us,” Goseki snorts.

“That does sound like him indeed,” Totsuka shakes his head, lets it drop it a little. There are mixed emotions fighting inside him, things he can pinpoint and things that are strange and confuse him.

“You know, Tottsu…?” Goseki carefully places his hand on Totsuka’s shoulder, and they finally look at each other. “Nobody is going to think badly of you if you get _closer_ to him because of this…”

It is as big an implication as it gets, and in spite of his alleged weirdness, Totsuka is not dense. His eyes get big, so big, and there is such a fierce bewilderment in them, Goseki removes his hand from his shoulder and looks away.

“I’ve… never thought about him like that,” Totsuka says, softly but so intense. Because Hashimoto is too young, because their role is to protect him, always has been, even before all this madness began. “And you know it.”

“That’s okay,” Goseki chirps, jumping back into the water. “I didn’t mean anything by it, just…” he scratches his head. “You know what? Forget about it…” His eyes disappear amid wrinkles as his lips twitch into an awkward smile before he hops away to join Hashimoto and Tsukada, who keep on chasing Kawai around.

It is true that Hashimoto is always clinging to him and saying he loves him, but Totsuka knows that this is half fanservice and half the way Hashimoto communicates, not only with him but with the world. And he has honestly never thought about Hasshi that way.

But still...

"Tottsu! Help me!" Hashimoto’s shrieks echo in the roofed pool premises. Goseki has joined Kawai and now the bullying is targeting Hashimoto, with Tsukada having changed sides.

Despite knowing the rest of his unit wouldn’t dream of playing rough with Hashimoto in his current state, Totsuka finds himself in the water in no time, grateful for having this troublesome train of thought interrupted. He doesn’t even consider the absolute pull that Hashimoto’s voice has over him or the way his whole body buzzes when Hashimoto keeps on calling his name for help. After all, he has always been very protective of Hashimoto and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Nothing.

***

They just assume that Kitagawa already knows about Hashimoto's situation, until Hashimoto informs them otherwise. They all laugh at him when he tells them that he plans to meet with Johnny alone.

So, here they are, in Johnny’s office. All of them. A tacit pact in their hearts that if this goes wrong, they will step up for Hashimoto, one way or another.

There is incredulity at first, but Hashimoto's stomach, if not too big, is now the right size and shape to be proof enough. Then there is yelling, of course, some threats, and Hashimoto apologizing deeply. But Totsuka has little room for fear in his heart.

He is awed by Hashimoto’s bravery, the way he takes responsibility and shows himself willing to take any punishment seemed fit; he is wholesome, dignified, with an integrity that would make non-pregnant men seem immature and conceited. He is also in awe at Kawai’s strong presence. For all of his lively personality, their leader is a powerful calming force, serious, focused, always behind Hashimoto, letting every one of them and Johnny know that he has his back, that he has everyone’s back.

Totsuka emerges along with his whole unit from the little stuffy office sweating anyway, and for a couple of minutes it’s like waking up from a nightmare, because his heart beats so fast and there’s still a residual taste of panic in his mouth, but now he’s safe; they all are.

A.B.C-Z will go on hiatus, effective immediately, with no permanent removal of any of its members.

Kawai exhales and promptly collapses on the floor, relief coming off him in waves so physical Totsuka can feel them crashing on his skin, pushing into his lungs and making his blood bubble with laughter. Which dies right then when he sees that, after hanging on greatly at Kitagawa’s office, hormones have finally caught up with Hashimoto and he is crying.

“I get to keep you,” Hashimoto hiccups, trying to wipe away his tears with his sleeve while his other hand goes to rest over his lightly protruding belly. “I get to keep all of you.”

It’s the first time Totsuka has seen Hashimoto cry this hard, and even though they are happy tears, something sharp tugs at his heart. So he hugs Hashimoto, and soon his example is followed by all the other members, even Kawai, finally up from the floor.

They clumsily walk by the hallways to the exterior of the building, making a big fuss at going round the corners while keeping their arms around each other’s shoulders, because none of them wants to let go. They get to keep him too, keep _them_ , Hashimoto and the baby. And somehow that makes life right.

***

Totsuka is there the first time Hashimoto feels the baby move.

They have been taking turns to keep Hashimoto company, tending to his food cravings, helping him with household chores, preventing him from finding out about stupid rumors on Internet and generally spoiling him. It hasn't really been hard with them being on hiatus and all that. And if Totsuka finds himself here more times than the others, no one mentions it.

Hashimoto is taking a bath when he suddenly calls for Totsuka, his voice so urgent Totsuka thinks something bad happened and throws his book carelessly to the floor before rushing to the bathroom.

When he gets there, Hashimoto’s smile -wide and full of wonder-, is all he needs to quench his panic.

“Hasshi, what happened?” Totsuka’s voice still trembles from the adrenaline rush, but not even this makes Hashimoto look up.

“Look…” Hashimoto’s eyes are glued to his own stomach. It’s not that big yet, and Totsuka has wondered if everything is okay at five months, but the doctor always says it’s alright.

Hashimoto is keeping as still as he can and this tips Totsuka as to what to look at after a couple of seconds of confusion. There are little waves, tiny and erratic, that expand from Hashimoto’s protruding belly, as if something was moving inside. And then it hits Totsuka; not something, someone.

“The baby?” he asks.

Hashimoto nods. “It’s moving,” he whispers in awe, but Totsuka can’t see his face. He just stands there, mesmerized, watching the water ripple.

“Does it hurt?”

“It feels really weird,” Hashimoto begins to say, with an unmistakable smile in his voice, “but it doesn’t hurt. It’s the first time I feel it moving…”

At this Totsuka finally looks up, searches for Hashimoto’s eyes to find them sparkling, love and astonishment, and something breaks inside him, flooding him with light.

“Really?”

“It likes you… your voice,” explains Hashimoto, chuckling, then reaches for Totsuka’s hand so suddenly Totsuka can’t help but let Hashimoto guide it to his belly.

And he feels it. His eyes go wide and search Hashimoto’s for a marveled second before returning to the place his hand is resting on.

“Say hi, Tottsu.”

“Nice to meet you,” Totsuka says, and his voice cracks a little under the weight of all the emotion he feels, but Hashimoto doesn’t seem to mind judging by the way he poses his own hand over Totsuka’s, squeezes it reassuringly. “My name is Totsuka Shota. I hope we get along.”

He feels the baby’s movements directly under his hand then.

“It really likes you,” Hashimoto says.

“I think it’s trying to kick me.”

“It’s just its way of saying Hello,” Hashimoto says, and he sounds convinced. “You are Tottsu, it can’t not like you.”

Kawai throws a not so grown up tantrum when he finds out that Totsuka was the first one to feel the baby move, and even a bigger one when he notices that the baby tends to move more when it’s Totsuka who talks. He even goes so far as to state that the baby does indeed want to kick Totsuka and that’s why it moves so much when it hears him.

The knowing look Hashimoto shares with Totsuka makes Totsuka feel strangely proud and fuzzy all over. He really doesn’t want to think too hard about why.

***

“Hasshi?” Totsuka’s voice floats on the golden light of the room, along with the specs of dust that dance calmly in it. He sounds a little strained, so he pauses, clears his throat. Breathes.

It’s a really lazy Sunday afternoon, and the sun seems to want to drag the summer well into this early autumn, if not in warmth at least in light and color. They are lounging on Hashimoto’s living room, and Hashimoto’s attempts to balance his guitar in a way he can play it comfortably in spite of his belly getting in the way are proving futile, so there is only the hum of the aircon and an occasional strum of the strings around them.

Hashimoto looks away from the guitar, into Totsuka’s eyes, his hand in the middle of playing a chord. G major. And Totsuka swallows hard, because he needs to ask something he knows nobody has asked, and it’s difficult.

“What about the baby’s father?” his voice sounds a little thin, but firm enough. It’s something.

“What about him?” Hashimoto’s attention goes back to the guitar, but it’s forced and he is tense, and Totsuka is all too aware of it.

“You never talk about him,” Totsuka’s voice is soft and tries to be soothing, but Hashimoto is not relaxing his pose at all.

“No, I don’t.”

Thousand of questions swirl wildly on Totsuka’s mind, but it’s really difficult for him to voice them with Hashimoto’s being so uncompromising.

He is pretty sure that Hashimoto isn’t seeing anyone at the moment; Hashimoto doesn’t leave the apartment at all and they would know if someone other than group members visited. Since Totsuka spends most of the time here as it is, _he_ would know. And it’s strange, the feeling of relief every time he considers it and comes to this same conclusion, this thing that seems to be joy at Hashimoto not dating anyone. It’s confusing and guilt pulls at his soul every time it happens, but there is nothing he can do about it.

Despite the doctors not having any explanation for Hashimoto’s condition yet, Totsuka refuses to believe in the demon hypothesis and the idea of the father of Hashimoto’s baby appearing suddenly in Hashimoto’s life again, either to demand money for silence or to reclaim parenthood rights, is something that weighs heavily in Totsuka’s mind lately. And thus, he feels compelled to ask.

“Does he know?” He pointedly looks at Hashimoto’s belly, so there is no mistake about what he means.

“What’s with you today?” Hashimoto retorts, putting the guitar away and yes, he does sound upset now.

“You _never_ talk about it, Hasshi,” Totsuka raises his voice just a little, but enough exasperation seeps into it to make it rough.

“Because there’s nothing to talk about!” Hashimoto snaps at him.

“It could be important!” Totsuka snaps back, and it feels so, so wrong to talk to Hashimoto like this, but for some reason he can’t stop. “He could cause all kind of trouble, and we don’t even know who he is!” And maybe it really doesn’t matter, but for some reason this is important to _him_. And the bewilderment at this finding does little but fuel his intent.

“We only fucked once if you need to know so desperately.” If Hashimoto was aiming to shock Totsuka, he totally succeeds. But he doesn’t stop there. “He didn’t recognize me, doesn’t know my real name and I sure as hell don’t remember his.”

Totsuka gaps twice before being able to form words again. “And you don’t have any way to contact him?”

“Why would I want to do that?!”

“Because he should take responsibility!”

“I don’t want for him to take responsibility.” Raw exasperation makes Hashimoto’s voice tremble. “I don’t know him, I don’t want him in this child’s life. And why do you care so much about him anyway?”

Hashimoto looks older, more tired, and all those unnamable feelings rage wildly on Totsuka’s whole being, a whirlwind of emotion that almost makes him dizzy.

“Because…” is all that Totsuka can articulate. He doesn’t believe in hatred, but that’s all this guy provokes in him.

Because this shouldn’t have happened, not this way, maybe not at all. Because Hashimoto shouldn’t be facing this alone, as much as he has them, all of A.B.C, with him. Because Hashimoto deserves better than some random encounter with some guy he doesn’t care about, and worse, who doesn’t care about him.

Because he would have taken better care of Hashimoto.

Because it should have been him.

Just like that. _Oh gods…_

“I’m sorry...” Totsuka stutters, reaching out to grab his bag. He has never been more scared in his whole life; he has never been more awake either. And the sudden _need_ burns every cell on his body, making it sing with the gravity that pulls him toward Hashimoto. And how the hell he was able to ignore this before is something he will never understand.

Fight, flight or freeze, all three at once and none at all. It’s enough to drive a man mad.

“Don’t leave.” Hashimoto’s voice is thin. It makes its way trembling through the beating of Totsuka’s heart that floods every inch of his skin with its deafening rhythm. Hashimoto’s sad, sad eyes are made of pain as he misunderstands, believes that Totsuka is mad at him for reasons so absurd Totsuka might actually start laughing, maniacally.

The smoldering touch of Hashimoto’s hand grabs Totsuka’s forearm and Totsuka’s eyes train on it, as if Hashimoto’s fingers were actually burning his flesh.

“I’m sorry, Tottsu. I’m sorry. Please, stay with me.”

And he can't refuse him, can't run away. Not with Hashimoto looking at him like that. Not when Hashimoto needs him.

“I’m sorry,” Totsuka stutters again, but now he is hugging Hashimoto, fingers combing through his hair. And Totsuka is shorter, but Hashimoto feels small and vulnerable as he clings to him and cries.

“Never leave me, Tottsu. Never,” once and again, and again, and again. Like a salty wet mantra.

And it’s probably Hashimoto’s hormones speaking, but nevertheless Totsuka vows never to.

***

“You are unusually quiet… and that is saying a _lot_.” Kitayama’s words drag Totsuka violently out of his contemplative state.

He missed Kitayama’s birthday party, and now they are drinking at a small bar, trying to catch up, but it’s not working.

“I... am very sorry, Hiromitsu. I’m afraid I am not the best company right now.”

“It’s Hashimoto, isn’t it?” Kitayama looks pointedly at him, as if accusing him of something. “What did he do now? Did he grow wings and now he grants wishes?” Kitayama resists Totsuka’s glare with a raised eyebrow.

In the end Totsuka just sighs and takes his eyes off him, looks instead at his own glass of beer, still two thirds full.

“He is just too young for this,” Totsuka muses, not sure if he is talking to Kitayama at all. “He always has been… too young.”

“Hashimoto hasn’t been a child in like forever, it was past due you noticed. Especially with the way he drools over you.”

Totsuka doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head and chuckles sadly before taking a long sip of his beer.

“I don’t know what is it with you, Tottsu,” Kitayama suddenly blurts out, “but you never notice anything. Not even the most obvious things.” There is an edge in Kitayama’s voice that Totsuka definitely doesn’t know what to make of, he sounds annoyed, right on the verge of frustration.

“Hiromitsu…”

“You are in love with that brat. You always did have a soft spot for him, but since he got magically knocked up you’ve just…. you love him.”

This leaves Totsuka speechless, not only because Kitayama’s words ring too close to the truth he has been fighting not to contemplate but for the venom that drips from them.

Totsuka doesn’t like men, has never thought about them like that despite being in Johnny’s which means there is always someone offering. Kitayama knows this, has always known it. And maybe that is the only reason Kitayama didn’t act upon things Totsuka has being oblivious enough not to notice, things too close to his nose for him to properly see.

“I’m sorry,” is all that he can say, but Kitayama doesn’t meet his eyes.

“I’m over it, really.” No further explanation needed about what he means. “And we will not talk about this anymore, understood?”

“I…”

“Understood?”

Totsuka just nods, at loss of words.

“Just, sort out your thing with the brat. Be happy. You deserve it.”

“I am not sorting out anything, there is not a thing to sort out,” because he is not going to take advantage of Hashimoto, not in his current state, maybe never.

“Whatever,” Kitayama snorts, motioning the barman for another glass of beer. “It’s okay, you know? To feel the way you do. It’s actually commendable. The baby isn’t even born and you have already adopted him.”

“We all have,” Totsuka retorts, meaning all of A.B.C when clearly that wasn’t what Kitayama was implying.

“Yes, you all have. But specially you.” Kitayama puts a reassuring hand on Totsuka’s shoulder and breathes deeply. “You are a good man, Shota. You have stood by him in the weirdest circumstance ever. And I mean it when I say you deserve to be happy… so. Just do what you want to do, it’ll probably be the right thing anyway.”

Totsuka nods. But everything inside him is still confusion.

***

One day Totsuka arrives to find Hashimoto cross-legged in the living room, trying rather unsuccessfully to work some old huge headphones to place them over his ever growing belly. There is a frustrated wrinkle on his forehead and his lips are pressed up and aiming forward, almost pouting.

“What are you trying to do?” Totsuka asks, trying not to laugh and not to melt, but both are lost causes.

“I want the baby to hear A.B.C.-Z’s songs,” Hashimoto explains in a tone that clearly states how much of a nuance the headphones are being for refusing to cooperate.

Totsuka just stands there, looking at Hashimoto and trying to calm down his hammering heart.

He just hates when Kitayama is right.

***

“Being pregnant sucks…” Hashimoto sighs with frustration, out of nowhere.

Totsuka is reading a book in the couch near the bed, because Hashimoto was supposedly trying to sleep and he didn’t want to go home yet.

“The baby can hear you, Hasshi,” Totsuka singsongs in reply, without putting his book down. He passes the page, but it’s all pretence; now that he knows for sure Hashimoto isn’t sleeping, he has his undivided attention, whether Totsuka likes it or not.

Hashimoto’s words are hushed when he talks again. “But it really does!”

Totsuka presses his fingers briefly into his eyes before leaving the book on the floor and looking at Hashimoto, who edges closer till he’s facing Totsuka while sitting on the bed. The space is tiny and Hashimoto’s knee bumps into Totsuka’s. He can feel Hashimoto’s warmth through the denim of his jeans.

“I can imagine that carrying a child could be uncomfortable at times.” Totsuka wants to reach out and touch him, offer some comfort. Hashimoto’s back has been hurting sometimes lately, and maybe he can offer to help, even though Tsukada has been handling all the massaging rather successfully.

But when he watches carefully, Hashimoto’s dilated pupils and slightly flushed face tell another story. And the pull is back, even stronger. Totsuka has to fight to not look at Hashimoto’s lips. He gulps as he lies back on the couch, tries futilely to put more distance between him and Hashimoto.

“The thing is, nobody tells you are gonna be horny all the time.”

Totsuka blinks slowly, so very slowly. And the impossibility of not looking at Hashimoto’s _lips_ seems ridiculous in comparison to the need to check out other parts of Hashimoto’s anatomy. “Oh,” is the only thing he can articulate, and the willingness his body seems to have to help Hashimoto deal with his problem baffles him as much as it annoys him.

“And nobody wants to fuck me, because I’m fat.”

Totsuka manages not to laugh, barely. Instead he just smiles in a way he hopes looks understanding and pets Hashimoto’s hair, keeping his distance. He doesn’t tell him that probably the reason no one comes even ten feet near Hashimoto is because they fear what the A.B.C portion of the group would do to protect their Z, being seemingly too late notwithstanding.

“I am going to dieeeee… aloooone…” Hashimoto whines rather miserably, and it takes Totsuka some moments to catch up and notice that no, Hashimoto is not joking.

“Hasshi, stop it!” Totsuka holds Hashimoto’s shoulders firmly, makes him look at him. “It’s not going to be like that. Stop it!” he insist forcefully as response to Hashimoto’s pout, and maybe he is more rough than he had intended, because Hashimoto bursts into tears.

“Tottsu is being mean to me....” Hashimoto looks at Totsuka through blurry eyes.

The pregnancy-sensitized skin of Hashimoto’s face is red and kind of blotchy, and his eyes are quickly getting puffy, because clearly this isn’t the first time Hashimoto has broken down crying today, but all Totsuka can see is beauty. His breathing gets heavier, and his hands tighten on Hashimoto’s shoulders.

“Tottsu…” Hashimoto begins, a giggle bubbling up his throat, and the way Totsuka is looking at him is so intense it should be intimidating, only it evidently isn’t, and Totsuka thinks he can even hear Hashimoto’s heart hammering madly in the thick silence around them. Or maybe it’s his own heart. “Tottsu, blink. It’s weird when you just stare like that.”

Totsuka doesn’t blink. “I am going to kiss you, Hasshi.”

And this takes Hashimoto completely off guard judging by the way he looks as if he is wondering if this is really happening; but then Totsuka cups his jaw with his hand, his eyes ablaze with emotions so deep they border on tempestuous, and Hashimoto just lets his eyelids flutter shut, leans in.

Totsuka tries to keep his eyes open so their noses don’t bump, but it’s a short lived attempt. They meet somewhere in the middle, their lips just pressing together softly for a while, but it’s enough to make Totsuka’s skin tingle and his blood rush in his veins; he feels his face flush and has the strangest, most unnerving urge to just open his eyes, check out if this is really happening, if it is really Hasshi he is kissing. But then Hashimoto sighs and tilts his head a little to the right, poses his hand at the back of Totsuka’s head and everything is alright in the whole universe as Hashimoto shyly moves his lips over his.

When they break apart, Totsuka kisses Hashimoto’s forehead, fervent and sweet, before resting his own forehead against it.

“Don’t ever say you will die alone again,” Totsuka whispers, and his voice sounds deep and a little scratchy to his own ears. “You have me. You have to know you have me.”

Totsuka kisses the tip of Hashimoto’s nose before rubbing it with his own, and Hashimoto can’t help but smile. “Tottsu…” he sighs, happily, and Totsuka feels his heart swell.

“I love you,” Totsuka whispers, and it seems to shock Hashimoto so much he has to repeat it, over and over, as he rains kisses everywhere on his face, his temple, his jaw.

Totsuka drags his lips down, until Hashimoto lets out a strained moan when they brush over the skin of his neck.

“I’m sorry,” Hashimoto says, a little mortified. “I… it feels really, really good. So… you better stop if… if you don’t wanna… You should stop.”

There is a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, but Totsuka doesn’t want to back down. When he speaks, he can barely hear his own voice over the roar of his heart. Anticipation, yes, but nervousness too.

“I don’t want to stop,” Totsuka finds himself saying, surprising himself almost as much as Hashimoto. “If this is too rushed I understand, but I don’t want to stop now.”

“Are you sure?”

And it is a good question, because up to this point Totsuka has never thought about the physical part of a relationship with Hashimoto. He has only wanted to kiss him and hold him; protect him. He has fallen in love without necessarily falling in lust with him. But the pull is still there, and the craving for nearness, and judging by the way his whole body is buzzing, he can work with that.

“I am sure. I just… I am going to need a little guidance because…” Totsuka begins to say, but Hashimoto cuts him up by kissing him and Totsuka just lets himself go.

He lets Hashimoto guide him until he is lying on the bed on his side, kissing Hashimoto’s lips slowly and so sweetly it almost startles him when Hashimoto flicks his tongue along his lower lip, gently asking for access.

Totsuka opens his mouth, lets Hashimoto in to explore, and is really kind of refreshing that this time is Hashimoto the one that is teaching him, leading the way. Then Hashimoto’s tongue finds his, rubs against it slightly, unsure, and Totsuka can’t think anymore. He hugs Hashimoto as tight as he dares, kissing him for all he is worth.

Both of them are panting when they come up for air.

“Tell me what to do,” Totsuka whispers, one hand threading in Hashimoto’s hair.

“I think we… should undress first?”

“Alright.”

They stand up. Totsuka helps Hashimoto out of his baggy sweats and shirt and makes quick disposal of his own jeans and T-shirt. Underwear is next and Totsuka gasps as he finds Hashimoto almost fully hard already.

“I told you,” Hashimoto says, looking down himself following Totsuka’s stare, guessing what Totsuka is seeing even though his belly gets in the way of his vision.

“Lie down,” Totsuka orders, mostly because his own knees feel a little weak.

“Okay… just… give me a sec…” Hashimoto says, walking to the nightstand.

A bottle of lube and some condoms land on the bed near Totsuka, and he stares at them, the force of absolute realization startling him. This is going to happen. And the weight of the bottle on his hand makes it so, so real, more so than his nakedness or Hashimoto’s if that makes any sense. His heart beats wildly and his legs finally give in, so he sits on the bed, breathing deeply.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” It’s Hasshi’s voice in his ear, and those are Hasshi’s arms around his shoulders, and it’s Hasshi’s warmth all over him, strangely reassuring, even with the evidence of Hashimoto’s desire clear against him.

Totsuka takes one of Hashimoto’s hands, entwines their fingers. “I’ll tell you if I want to stop,” he says, and his voice sounds firm enough to reassure both of them.

He searches for Hashimoto’s lips again, kissing him deeply, pouring every emotion his heart has been fighting into this kiss while his hands begin absentmindedly caressing Hashimoto’s arms, his shoulders, the curve that leads to his neck. When Hashimoto lightly gasps, it doesn’t feel weird anymore.

Totsuka is careful with Hashimoto’s belly when he tips him backwards, makes Hashimoto lie down on his back on the bed as he half hovers over and half lies beside him.

“I’m sorry to disturb you,” Totsuka whispers to Hashimoto’s swollen tummy, apologizing, and Hashimoto giggles a bit.

“It tickles,” Hashimoto explains, but there might be more to it judging from Hashimoto’s adoring expression that makes Totsuka’s heart swell.

He tastes Hashimoto’s skin then, kisses it softly, sometimes just dragging his lips over it, sometimes nibbling lightly, and sometimes openly lapping at it. The noises that escape Hashimoto’s lips are quickly getting Totsuka's body interested, reverberating through all his body to pool between his legs.

Hashimoto is definitely chubbier, fluffiness in places where only taut muscle stood before and Totsuka is fascinated by all this pliant skin at his hands for him to grab, to softly squish.

“Only Tottsu could like me better when I’m a fat pig,” Hashimoto only half jokes.

“You are beautiful…” Totsuka sighs. _Always have been…_ but the words get stuck in his throat that refuses to work properly, so Totsuka touches him instead.

He reverently touches his face, tracing his features with only a soft pressure from his fingertips and then going down his neck and still downwards.

Despite the added flesh Hashimoto's chest is flat, so very unlike any of Totsuka's other partners, but it still ignites something in him when his fingertips brush past Hashimoto’s nipples and he gasps.

Curious, he traces them with circling motions that end on the hardening tips, then moisten his fingers a bit and graze them a little harder, slowly coaxing them into erection. The pebbled flesh feels strangely good against his palm when he presses it over, and oh, that was definitely a whine from Hashimoto’s lips.

Interesting, because his own chest in general isn’t nearly that responsive.

He can’t resist the urge to bend further down and lick them, making Hashimoto arch kind of violently, never mind the extra weight.

“Careful…” Totsuka reminds him, because he doesn’t want for Hashimoto to injure his back and knows he is seldom careful about himself. Hashimoto only nods and bites his lower lip, blatantly trying not to let any sound out. “Don't,” Totsuka says, freeing Hashimoto's lip with his fingers. “I want to hear you.”

Hashimoto breathily obliges, moaning when Totsuka grazes the skin behind his ear with barely a trace of his teeth, his fingers tangling on Totsuka’s hair while Totsuka’s lips follow a wet path down his neck.

Totsuka doesn’t notice how hard he is until he shifts his position to try to kiss Hashimoto’s temple, his groin inadvertently rubbing against Hashimoto’s hip, and he can’t help but groan. Totsuka’s sounds seem to have an effect over Hashimoto too, if the way he clings to him and his slurred words are any indication.

“Tottsu,” Hashimoto whimpers, pressing the bottle of lube into Totsuka’s palm. “Hurry.”

Totsuka has never done this before, but he thinks he can work out the mechanics just fine. He breathes in deeply and flips open the cap of the bottle, surprising himself when his hands don’t even shake as he coats his fingers with the oily substance.

“This is cold,” he feels the need to remark. He really wants to cause Hashimoto as little discomfort as possible.

“Oh gods I don’t care… please, just hurry?” Hashimoto’s eyes are dark and pleading as he opens up his legs, invitingly, and there it is again, the pull, the overwhelming _need_ to be as close to Hashimoto as he can, to be inside him.

“Okay…” Totsuka sighs, breathing deeply to retain control of himself.

He is as gentle as he can manage as his middle finger enters Hashimoto, trying not to think about all that warm tightness and the way it will surround him afterwards, trying to keep his movements slow.

“I can take more, Tottsu, please…” Hashimoto begs, angling his hips and reaching out for Totsuka, but Totsuka just stops moving at all.

“Don’t,” Totsuka says, and it’s a real struggle to talk past everything that is tight inside him, but he does, and when he speaks his voice is low, strangely commanding. “I will take care of you.”

So Hashimoto just nods, smiles, relaxes. For a while he lets Totsuka’s fingers open him up gently while Totsuka’s free hand roams his tights adoringly.

“Come here, you are too far away,” Hashimoto whines and this is something in which Totsuka is happy to oblige.

He bends a little down again, capturing Hashimoto’s lips in a kiss that starts playful and gets more and more heated when Totsuka slips a second finger inside Hashimoto, making him moan and tighten his grip on Totsuka’s hair. Totsuka gasps.

“I’m sorry,” Hashimoto is quick to apologize.

But Totsuka just shakes his head, then turns his face enough for Hashimoto to get a clue and drag his hand toward it for Totsuka to kiss his open palm.

“No need to apologize.”

Hashimoto’s hands begin their own timid exploration then, caressing the firm muscles of Totsuka’s shoulders, trailing lightly over the skin of his back, as far as he can reach. It feels really good, in spite of the lightness of the caress, and it gets even better when Hashimoto drags his lips down Totsuka’s neck, lapping sweetly at his skin, making it break out into a thousand goose bumps. Totsuka’s hips snap of their own volition, but the friction he can get against Hashimoto’s hip is not enough, not now.

“How many?” Totsuka asks, and Hashimoto buries his head on the pillow trying to back down enough to look at his face. He seems puzzled, so Totsuka wiggles his fingers inside him a little, to make his point across. “So it doesn’t hurt when…”

“It’s okay, you can do it now.”

“But…”

In a brisk move, one of Hashimoto’s hands goes all the way down Totsuka’s body. It tickles a bit, and Totsuka would giggle if Hashimoto’s fingers weren’t wrapping around his erection at the next second, making everything kind of blurry.

“Now,” Hashimoto orders, and okay, he has a point.

So Totsuka backs down a little to reach for a condom, hissing at his own touch while he rolls it on and then again as he coats himself with what he hopes it’s enough lube.

When he deems himself ready, he looks at Hashimoto’s panting form before him, and frowns. This is going to require logistics.

“I could just…” Hashimoto says, apparently reading his mind, and motions to turn around.

It takes some moments for Totsuka to react because the mental picture of Hashimoto on his hands and knees makes every coherent thought spontaneously combust. As it is, he is still capable of holding Hashimoto’s hips and preventing him from moving.

“Wait…” It’s partly the need to watch Hashimoto’s face, to corroborate at every second that is him and that this is really happening. The other, darker part is related to the need that Hashimoto sees _him_. As much as he is taking advantage of Hashimoto’s urges, there is some selfish part of himself that doesn’t want Hashimoto to think he is with anyone else.

Totsuka sits on the mattress then, his back against the wall and Hashimoto quickly gets the idea, crawling near Totsuka and then straddling him while his back rests partially on Totsuka’s raised knees. Hashimoto lifts his hips a little and takes Totsuka’s cock in his hand to position it at his entrance before lowering himself, and Totsuka is thankful that Hashimoto seems to take his time at this, because he wouldn’t be able to stop if he was too quick and would never be able to forgive himself afterwards.

Totsuka reaches out to take Hashimoto’s hand when he’s halfway in and Hashimoto’s brow is furrowed in concentration.

“Are you all right?” Totsuka forces out in a gasp, for every tiny movement Hashimoto makes sends sparkles flaring all over him, the warmth, the tightness and everything he feels becoming too much too quickly.

“Yes, it’s just… it’s been a while,” Hashimoto sighs, his voice thin, and in the next blink of an eye he slides the rest of the way down.

Their moans almost harmonize and it should be funny, but Totsuka is too out of it to appreciate it. He just tries to breathe, to wait, to give Hashimoto time enough to adjust.

Then Hashimoto begins slowly rocking his hips and Totsuka moans helplessly, his hips snapping up hard as he squeezes Hashimoto's hand as if searching for anchorage.

“Tottsu…” Hashimoto sighs, his voice sounding like _finally_ , and his moans keep on building up as Totsuka loses more and more control, thrusting hard and strong into Hashimoto.

Hashimoto’s scrambled words are an unintelligible mix between _yes_ and _more_ and Totsuka’s name, and Totsuka just goes with it, all traces of restraint gone as he lets Hashimoto guide their joined hands to wrap around his already leaking cock.

It should feel stranger than it does to touch other man so intimately, but Hashimoto’s face shows nothing but rapture as Totsuka strokes him in synch with the rhythm of his hips. All Totsuka wants as he nears his peak is to kiss Hashimoto once more, impossible as it is without causing him great discomfort because of his swollen belly. So he grabs Hashimoto’s wrist and drags Hashimoto’s free hand to his lips, open mouthed kissing his palm and sucking on his fingers instead. And this is what tips Hashimoto into orgasm, choking on air and unable to articulate words as he spurts into his and Totsuka’s intertwined hands.

Hashimoto’s eyes are closed, and his skin glistens because of the sweat, and the way he clenches around Totsuka makes everything swirl and spin as Totsuka manages barely a couple of thrusts before falling into complete bliss.

It takes Totsuka some minutes to come back to reality, to fit in his own skin again after the release that nearly knocked him down, but he manages to gather enough energy to dispose of the condom and clean them up a little before collapsing on the bed again, curling up to Hashimoto’s side with his ear over the steady beating of his heart.

Hashimoto plays with Totsuka’s sweat soaked hair for a while, absentmindedly stroking it as his pulse calms down and his breathing returns to normal.

“It’s scary,” Hashimoto says, barely over a whisper, as if afraid to break the comfortable silence. And before Totsuka can ask what he means, he continues. “To fall in love with you again. It’s really scary.”

“Again?” Totsuka asks looking up at Hashimoto, a little puzzled.

“I have fallen in and out of love with Tottsu so many times I no longer keep a record.”

Totsuka’s heart clench so painfully in his chest he has no idea how he manages not to cry. All the words leave him at once, but he has never been very good with them to begin with. All he has left are actions and he makes good use of them as he kisses Hashimoto deeply, endlessly, shouting his love at him with his body in ways his words never could.

***

Days go by slowly and they kind of blur into each other as Totsuka all but moves into Hashimoto's apartment. If any of the other members asked he would say it’s to help Hashimoto, but none of them do. Totsuka tries not to cringe every time all of A.B.C-Z gathers here and Goseki throws knowing glances in his direction, but that is as far as it goes.

The close proximity gets into both Hashimoto’s and Totsuka’s nerves at times, because Hashimoto has never been quite the sweetheart he lets everybody see on camera and the pregnancy seems to have further shortened his already short temper. So, they bicker about laundry and washing dishes, both of them stubborn enough to make the argument last for at least an hour.

Making up sex is still as awesome as everybody says it is.

Totsuka has to go on midnight raids to wherever is necessary to get pickled plums or salted shrimp; he gives Hashimoto backrubs and takes long baths with him, followed by even longer naps. Sometimes Totsuka wonders if the baby inherited some of Hashimoto’s stubbornness, because the doctor still can’t tell its sex from the ultrasounds, so he spends hours just rubbing Hashimoto's belly and feeling the baby move, discussing names and nicknames and clothing colors for both a boy and a girl.

He is madly in love.

“You don't mind that it's not yours?” Hashimoto asks one day. He is lying on his side on the bed while Totsuka's arms circle him lazily from behind, soft autumn light all around them.

Totsuka nuzzles his neck, kisses his hair softly, deeply inhaling the smell that he has come to associate with peace and home.

“But it is mine. In a way,” Totsuka says. “I want to raise this child with you, to be in its life. If you let me.”

Hashimoto turns around and kisses him then, so passionately that Totsuka knows for sure that Hashimoto feels the same.

***

It happens in the middle of the night, of course. And Totsuka panics, because the calendar marks thirty-eight weeks and that is not enough no matter how many times he does the math.

Hashimoto is in so much pain he doesn’t even try to hide it, and Totsuka is so worried he can’t remember when it was that he called Tsukada, but somehow he materializes in the front of Hashimoto’s apartment in minutes, Goseki in tow.

Tsukada lifts Hashimoto in his arms with just a little difficulty, gets him into his car and together they rush to the small clinic that Kawai and Johnny himself have approved as safe.

Letting go of Hashimoto’s hand as they take him into the operation room is the hardest thing Totsuka has done in his whole life, his legs threatening to give in as his body shivers uncontrollably. A firm hand on his shoulder stops his fall though, and he turns his head to find Kitayama, who holds him up by merely being at his side.

Kawai is there too and Totsuka really has no idea who let them know, but he is grateful as hell as Kawai takes his other flank and Totsuka can feel his strength buzzing in the air, pure energy and reassurance.

No one says a word as they wait, and wait, and wait.

***

It’s a boy. And after the initial wave of panic and confusion is over, when he is sure Hashimoto _and_ the baby have survived, Totsuka stares at the birth certificate for hours trying to assimilate the fact that the day the baby was born is the same as Totsuka’s birthday. But, as it turns out, that is not miracle enough right now.

Now Hashimoto stands beside Totsuka at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit even though he shouldn’t be standing at all, but no one was capable of stopping Hashimoto from being here, before the baby incubator their son is in, staring at him with a mix of emotions so deep Totsuka doesn’t know what to feel.

“C’mon Keisuke…” Hashimoto softly whispers from time to time, and Totsuka wonders in which point of life the kid he used to know became this strong man at his side.

“I don’t know what to do,” Totsuka whispers, when some hours have gone by and there’s no silence, only the beeping sounds of machines and movement around them.

Hashimoto grabs his forearm, waits until Totsuka looks into his warm, resolved eyes."Everything is going to be fine, just... stay with me, Tottsu. Everything will be all right."

And Totsuka believes.

***

After three weeks of hell on Earth, baby Keisuke is finally put on an open crib and Totsuka can finally sleep for more than an hour at a time. Relief is so strong when the doctor says everything is going to be fine that he almost faints, while Hashimoto just looks at him with an I-told-you-so expression on his face that borders on smug.

Just one more week, the doctor says, and they can take their son home, to face all the problems Totsuka longs to face, because that would mean all this is finally over and every worry and petty management issue pales so much in comparison that he feels he can take on the world any day of the week.

Totsuka and Hashimoto stand beside Keisuke’s crib at the clinic, looking dotingly at him. He has two big eyes Totsuka could bet his life will look like Hasshi’s with time, ten fingers and ten toes -he counted-, and one small cute nose. He is perfect.

“Kawai-kun wanted a girl, you know?” Totsuka says, and it feels so incredibly good just to be able to make small talk, to talk lightly about things, that he can’t stop smiling for all that he is worth.

Hashimoto snorts, “Fumichan can go have his own whenever he pleases,” he says, but there is deep affection in his words.

Totsuka leans into Hashimoto’s side, and Hashimoto automatically slips his arm around Totsuka’s waist, holding him close.

“You never told me why you named him Keisuke,” Totsuka asks, lowering his voice when the baby moves a little, his tiny hands attempting to rub his eyes before giving up and keep on sleeping.

“Because I don’t want to think he’s with us because of something a demon did. I prefer to think he was sent by the gods.”

 _Divine help_ , Totsuka thinks, writing Keisuke’s name in kanji on his mind. He reaches out for Hashimoto’s hand, intertwines their fingers and smiles. Divine help, indeed.

Sometimes, Hashimoto is just the brightest man alive.


End file.
